Life will never be the same, life is changging

semakin lama aku tk tahan lah gak kan duduk sini. well mana2 duduk pun same je. tkyah nk ckp problem tk prnah dtg, problem hari hari dtg bergolek, just pandai2 korg je nk handle mcm mne. ye aku mengaku, skarang nih aku dilanda musibah ! aku paling benci kena bebel. well thts normal lah. siapa yg suka kena bebel kan ? tp klu aku kena bebel ni tahap dia lain mcm sikit. walaupun salah aku tk sebesar mne n bole je settle sbnarnyer, tkyah pening2 kepala nk kecoh2, smpai sakit dada nk membebel. ntah lah. kadang kadang aku pun 1, suka buat org bebel. well dua2 pun sama je sbnarnya.

im counting the days of going back to Indonesia. another 25 days left. bak kate kawan2, still lme lg tu. yee, mmg lama, tp aku rse mcm tk sbr2 nk keluar dr rumah nih. well aku sakit. aku sedih. n somehow i really feel like how pathetic i am for being here, in this house. maybe bila 1 masa nnt, bila aku dah tkde, or jauh dr rumah nih, bru masing2 nk cari aku balik kot ? yeke ? dah lah, jgn nk mimpi. org yg selalu sakit kan hati org jgn harap nk dpt tempat kt hati orang tu. all these time, i know, im not being a good daughter, even a good sister. all this time i was being such a fucking shittt ! idk why my life isnt good as my fellas life. okay aku faham, setiap yg hidup mst ada masalh masing2 en. so tk payah nk ckp semua org hidup happy sgt lahh.

okay, anytime from now, bapak akan dtg marah aku :) well thts cool to know right ? :) cool ! just tunggu masa nk kena je lepas nih :) well, all the best nad :) just remember tht thngs happened wth reason :) anythng, if u need somethng to burst out wht u feel, lets it burst out here. dnt trust anyone than urself :)

Kau aku ? Takda makna nya --

okay. aku rasa sgt terabai sekarang -- walaupun aku dah ada depan mata, tp mcm tk di endah kan langsung -- sampai nya hati :( okay terus terang rasa mcm nk nangis. terus terang rasa mcm nk mengamuk n terus terang rasa mcm tk adil dilakukan sebegini :( aku benci jatuh cinta. dah semestinya ianya amat menyakit kan -- n im having my hard time :( okay maybe dia terlalu busy. okay tp smpai bila ? trust is wht we need. grrrr cut the crap nad ! sampai bila nk mcm niii :( benciiiiiiiiiiiiiii ! :'(

Biarkan Dia Pergi, Jangan Kau Kejar

please dnt say tht im falling for him like for real ?! shit ! :( i cant have ths feeling n i have to stop this feeling. it makes me suffer a lot ! i think im falling for him :( derr, is ths wht we called wht goes around comes around ? please say no :( shit ! im falling for him man ! i love him ! bt then, there's somethng tht distracting our relationship -.- he said tht he loves me, bt at the same time, he still wth his gf :( i cant accept that. it is sucks being the 3rd party ! -____________-

for real, aku dah jatuh hati. aku benci perasaan nih. its kay, i still got the time to cover ths feeling. aku boleh hidup lah tanpa lelaki ! ape ingat aku batak sgt ke haaa dgn korang ? ishhh semua ni buang masa ! nad, its time for you to be a bionic woman :) u cn live wthout them. just wait n see. some other day, some other time, there will be a good guy, n he'll give u his hand n lead u to a happy marriage :) huuyeeahhhh melambung lambung nmpak berangan kau ? tk sedar diri hape ? haihh ini lah dia manusia zaman skarang belajar tk habis lg tp dah meroyan mcm ape -_______________________- ingat nad, jgn lupa ibu dgn bapak dah bersusah payah hantar kau jauh2 utk belajar, sampai 1 masa nnt, buktikan pd dorang yg kau boleh :)

okayy, drpd aku terus terusan mencarut yg tk tentu pasal, better i get going off to bed. since skarang pun dah mununjukkan jam 2.41 AM. mari mula kan hidup baru esok, n be urslef :) huuuuyeaaaaaaahhh nadia dah stress :) night folks :)

You

God ! i really fall for him somehow :( my dear bby, i just cant go to sleep, cuz it fells like i've fallen for u n its getting way too deep :(

Dont let the boredom take over --

hola ! lame gak ehh tk update blog :D well what to do, lately nih cm tkde mood lah nk online, then malas yg tahap gaban pun yee. ntah lah cuz ths lately i feel so weak, like very weak ! -- bila online je rse cm bosan giler wehh -- haihh merungut lah pulak. cuba klu time kt surabaya, nk online punya lah susah, i feel like i rather dye than having my time there -- bt then now, when evertythng is completely in front of me, nk merungut pulak enn, tu lahh org yg tk reti nk bersyukur :P

okay done ! malas nk cte panjang2, nnt sure bosan. hari ni rse cm nk menangis ! haha tktau kenapa. i just watched the biggest loser australia, then ada this part, alaaa biase aa, part2 sedih menyayat hati cmtuh, tbe2 lak rse cm nk nangis. so sensitive ! :D hahah bt then tk nangis pun. just terase mcm nk nangis. meaning, aku punya hati :) hati lembut lah kate kannn, haha masuk lif tkena sendiri nmpak ? makne nyer aku tngah puji diri sndiri lah tuuu, hahah :D

so hari hari yg telah di lalui sejak kebelakangan sgt membosan kan, termasuk hari ni -- n paling celaka skali, ada jerawat tumbuh kt dlm telinga -- sakit nya Allah je yg tau :( hmm tu je la kot nk update -- tkde cte best punn. so later :)

Who was your first prom date?
I dont go to the prom

Who was your first roommate?
Mady, obviously

What was your first alcoholic drink?
None

What was your first job?
Sales Assistant :)

What was your first car?
I dont have my own car, bt i wish to have 1 :(

Who was your first grade teacher?
No idea

Where did you go on your first ride on airplane?
Cant recall

When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
Mady :D

Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
Mady, again

Where was your first sleep over?
Nadhirah n aisyah :D

Who is the first person you talk to in the morning?
My mum :)

Whose wedding were you in the first time?
Cant recall

What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Check my phone

What was the first concert you ever went to?
None

First tattoo or piercing?
At my nose :D bt then it was before :P

First celebrity crush?
Tom Felton

First crush?
Too many to recall -- HAHA

When was your first detention?
Dah lama lah, lupa --

First pet's name?
Tuah :)

First Kiss?
ehehmmmm <3>
Who was the first person to break your heart?
Same person as above --

Who will be the first to repost this?
Obviously ME. duhh !

Thats annoyed me ! --

grrrr ! okay fine, i know i shouldnt talk about ths thing at their back,bt nk cakap jugak -- okay, i just finished attend my qiraati class which is at my place n its been attended by my mum's friends n ofcuz my mum. i have to attend the class cuz its an order from my mum sbb tknk bg aku terlena sampai puku 11 pg -.- fine then. n during the class, okay fine ! i admit tht bacaan quran aku tkde lah betul n way perfect like the others bt then, is it a must for u to comment lebih2 then nk puji2 org like........so annoying ! sumpah td memanjang asyik buat muka je aku, bt im not sure whether they notice it or not, but WHO CARES ?! grrrrrr ! -- n im done ! -__________-

I messed everythngs up ! :(

duhh ! i totally messed everythngs up ! :( to abg ngah, im sorry :( kak long dah terbocor kan rahsia kau kt ibu n bapak :( sorry sgt sgt ! ntah mcm mne ntah :( maybe gara2 trlalu excited smpai trbukak cte tu kt ibu n bapak n ibu was totally angry :( gerun aku bila ibu marah -.- tu lah, padan muka kau ! mulut tk leh nk jage :| its my fault after all :| sorry abg ngah :(

haihh hari nih sgt membosan kan :( bt then hati cm tenang je bila bilik nih nmpak kemas :) satu hari nih berkemas sana sini, n finally everythng nmpk cm kemas n bersih je, lega mak :) haha. well ape aku merepek ni pun aku tk tau. the point is sje je nk buang mase update blog because i love keeping a journal. remembering wht i do n how i change n its really the basic reason why people blog anyway, to remember thngs for themselves n also to share. bt then, blog aku tkde lah se superb blog org lain yg like WHOAH tuu. bt then, hari ni aku dah buat somethng yg annoying which is, trbagitau ibu n bapak pasal phone abg ngah kena rampas -.- wessssssss da lah ibu tu cm hari ni angin dia kurang baik -.- sure sure abg ngah kena marah punya laa :( kesian adk ku :( sorry ngah, i'll promise u tht ths will be the last thng i'll do, after ths, i swear, i'll keep ur secret safely. SORRY ngah :( hmmm its already late, n kejap lg dah nk kena bngun sahur, wehhh esok puasa wehhh ! so i better get off to bed, cuz nnt klu tk trlewat bngun, lg teruk kena nnt, wht to doe, this is wht we called, LIFE ! well goodnight folks !

Embarassing part of my life :(

i feel like dying when he found out that im updating about him at my fb :( maluu giler ! tk tau aku mne nk letak muka nihhh, i feel like cryinggggggggggggg :(((( tuhan je tau betapa merana nyer aku skarang :((

Welcome home !

Hello hello hello ! Guysss ! Im back ! ehehhe :D finally, excited giler bai nk balik. after 1 week tnggu bagai nk rak, finally, sampai jugak rumah, home sweet home :) ehehhh. so, surabaya was good. ni pun holidays for 2 months, mmg best yg tk terkata lah wehh :D actually nk update blog since touch down lg, bt then smpai2 rumah pun dah penat, then nk kena settle kan luggage lg, soo dpt bukak kejap je then tk sempat nk update blog. ni pun bilik still lg mcm kapal pecah, bosan lah nk kemas, nnt2 lah, ehehhh :P

so nw im all alone. ibu n bapak pg outstation, then aku tnggal rumah. nasib baik amir yusuf ikut, klu tk, tk pasal2 je kena babysitter dia -.- well actually bosan sgt skarang ni :( i feel like screaming so tht thng tht have been buried in my heart will disappear. bt then i know, it cant be completely vanish, mst ada yg trtinggal punya :( it messed me up, need a second to breath :(

whtevr it is, i think its time for me to start with something new :) ready for everythnig i guess. n hopefully, everythng will goes on smoothly. from now, wht past is past :)